Growing up with a Trinidadian father was an experience. When it came to school, there was no excuse for not giving complete effort and getting the best grades possible.
My father was not very involved with my schoolwork, he never sat down to help me with a math problem or an English essay. The unspoken understanding was that the grades I brought home had to be impeccable. It was up to me do figure it out, I shouldn't rely on anyone else to help me find the answers. Part of learning was experiencing the struggle of "figuring it out on my own." So that is what I did. I always felt bad when someone offered to give me the answer to something I couldn't figure out on my own. My father's face would always pop up in the back of my mind. "Would he approve of this?" "What would dad have to say about this?"
I believe it was a product of his own upbringing. My dad's parents were not college educated and he was the first of my Trinidadian family to go to college and graduate. So for him, there was no mom or dad to go to for the answers. When he was home and had trouble figuring things out, it was solely up to him to use his brain and what little resources were available. My father was able to graduate at the top of his class in high school, and eventually medical school.
I think that father wanted to pass those ideas on to me, being his oldest and only daughter. Because I grew up more privileged than most kids, my dad believed it was important for me to learn to work for what I wanted in life, and that meant working in school. Reflecting on himself, I believe my dad saw that he was able to reach great success in life and that all of the hard work he did in school is something his children should also do and they will be successful as well.
Sometimes I felt like I wasn't doing good enough. I would fear that if I made anything below an A, my father would be disappointed or angry with me. However this motivated me to do extremely well in high school and it made me proud of myself for persevering through!
My father was not very involved with my schoolwork, he never sat down to help me with a math problem or an English essay. The unspoken understanding was that the grades I brought home had to be impeccable. It was up to me do figure it out, I shouldn't rely on anyone else to help me find the answers. Part of learning was experiencing the struggle of "figuring it out on my own." So that is what I did. I always felt bad when someone offered to give me the answer to something I couldn't figure out on my own. My father's face would always pop up in the back of my mind. "Would he approve of this?" "What would dad have to say about this?"
I believe it was a product of his own upbringing. My dad's parents were not college educated and he was the first of my Trinidadian family to go to college and graduate. So for him, there was no mom or dad to go to for the answers. When he was home and had trouble figuring things out, it was solely up to him to use his brain and what little resources were available. My father was able to graduate at the top of his class in high school, and eventually medical school.
I think that father wanted to pass those ideas on to me, being his oldest and only daughter. Because I grew up more privileged than most kids, my dad believed it was important for me to learn to work for what I wanted in life, and that meant working in school. Reflecting on himself, I believe my dad saw that he was able to reach great success in life and that all of the hard work he did in school is something his children should also do and they will be successful as well.
Sometimes I felt like I wasn't doing good enough. I would fear that if I made anything below an A, my father would be disappointed or angry with me. However this motivated me to do extremely well in high school and it made me proud of myself for persevering through!